Day 293 – Meteor Shower

I have not been writing as much. I mean, I am writing. I am writing a lot. I write close to 2000 words a week for my clients (blogging and social media) and other personal projects that are blossoming into life at the moment. It’s so weird to be “ok” with letting this have a little space while the planets realign due to a full blown star dust filled meteor shower raining down into my life lately.  Spectacular, brilliant, fucking scary, at times – devastating and Divine. I often think about some life advice my mom gave me once that sticks with me – “Don’t get too attached when life is going good – because it is inevitable that things will get hard at some point; and don’t ever lose hope when things are hard – because they will get better.” It’s interesting when life guides you back towards the altar of your own personal judge – the inner voice whose potential to heal can just as easily turn on your and become your worst enemy.

It’s a sacred and tender space right now I guess you could say.  And, it is ok and raw and beautiful and painful and so bright with truth and transparency that you lower your eyes in humility at the gloriousness of it all. Life and it’s lessons and full circles and your complete and total inability to hide from yourself.

Tonight I am remembering that it is ALL the path. All of it. There are no detours anywhere. The good, bad and the meteor showers. We are all here in this moment, breathing this very breath because of each and every thought, experience and action that has come before it.

Much love. #365things

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Day 289: Words of Hard-Earned (and not always followed) Wisdom for New Parents

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I get asked for parenting advice quite often. Probably for no other reason than I am constantly online like, “I AM A PARENT.” Seriously. But, as we have just passed the milestone of #SirEllisRoy’s first birthday I guess it’s appropriate to perhaps reflect on what I have learned in the last year. Well, there is not enough time to share EVERYTHING I have learned. So, I will narrow it down the the three things I would want to share with a new parent (should they ever ask my directly if I had any advice because one piece of advice I would DEFINITELY give is NEVER to give advice unless you are asked. Why? It’s annoying. I know you think you are being helpful. But, you are not. I am tired and you are annoying me when you do that. That’s pretty much it.

Ok! Here you go Dave Romanelli! (check out this dad-to-be here) Having a baby is going to ROCK YOUR WORLD BROTHER!

1. YOU ARE GOING TO BE AWESOME PARENTS! OH MY GOD! I CAN’T EVEN STAND HOW AWESOME YOU ARE GOING TO BE!! HAVE YOU LOOKED INTO THE MIRROR LATELY AND JUST STOOD IN AWE OF YOUR AWESOME PARENTS-TO-BE-NESS?!?!?!?

Encourage, empower, inspire.  We have been parenting children for a lot (I mean A LOT) of years. Before there were blogs and books and techniques and experts. If you can support a new parent into tapping into their own innate wisdom – then you really don’t have to read the rest of the advice on this post.

2. DON’T PLAN ANYTHING FOR AT LEAST THREE MONTHS. IN FACT, TRY NOT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AT ALL.

Don’t plan anything for three months. Clear your calendar as much as humanly possible. This is for two reasons. The first is that if you don’t, inevitably, you will internally struggle with wanting to be at home with your babe and having these external commitments. Some commitments are unavoidable. But if there are things that can wait three months, three short months, then arrange for your life to be as open as possible for this new being to arrive and settle into their new world with you. The second reason is is that you’re going to be too freaking tired to do anything anyways. And that’s just a fact of life. I’m not going to tell you to sleep when the baby does or to rest when the baby does or anything like that. You need to find your own flow and your own rhythm of what works for you with your waking and sleeping habits. But, if you can help making the mistake of overcommitting, then help it. You will never regret it.

3. GO WITH THE FLOW. AND WHEN YOU DON’T, IT’S OK. JUST TRY AGAIN.

Get into the habit of letting life unfold naturally and organically in front of you. Every day is a journey. Every day is something new, a new obstacle to overcome, a new milestone to celebrate. There will be times when you feel challenged, overwhelmed, frustrated, joyful, amazing, so full of love that you think you’ll explode and others, so freaking confused you think you will burst into tears. You probably will burst into tears a few times. That’s ok. If you have set a course in your life to be mindful and more aware, all of that training will be tested. What your child needs from you is a constant, loving, steady space. And that can only happen when you accept each moment as it comes. And when you don’t, don’t worry. Don’t sweat it. The cool thing about moments is that there is always another one and another chance to try.

#365things

Day 286: Signs You Don’t Care What Anyone Thinks Anymore

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  • You leave your brush and makeup at the yoga studio where you teach one weekly class – and then, every morning, for a whole week, you vow to drive the whole 10 minutes it would take to get to the studio and get your things. Nope. Not me. I went a whole week without brushing my hair. Can you say dreadlock?
  • You are basically scraping the end of the deodorant onto your pits – and every morning for a week you tell yourself to drive to the grocery store which is less than one mile from your house – to get some more. You keep the Jason stuff here as a back up – but in reality it just never gets used because it does not work. It’s pretty amazing how you really smell when you are not masking it with something else. FYI – new deodorant did manage to make it’s way into my bathroom, although I was not the one who went and got it. #ripe
  • Laundry. I think aside from sharing photos of #SirEllisRoy, I have probably posted about laundry and how it literally haunts me. I mean, how can three people go through so much? This week was a record week. We literally kept throwing the clean clothes onto the bed in the spare room until there was like at least seven or twelve batches all over the bed. THEN WE JUST CLOSED THE DOOR AND PRETENDED LIKE THEY WERE NOT THERE.
  • Every. Single. Time. You leave the house your breasts are somewhat hanging out.
  • PJ’s, real clothes, pi’s, real clothes, pi’s, real clothes… I think I forgot the difference somewhere along the way. Basically, whatever is clean works.
  • You some how, accidentally, glance at the back of your upper thigh, where a razor has not been for waaaaay too long and that almost makes you care, but not enough to shave your legs the next time you are in the shower.

I’m like, whatever. At least it gives me something to write about. On the plus side, Ellis’ top two teeth cut through so we moved him down to a Stage 3 Clinger from Stage 5. #365things

Day 278: Friends for Life

IMG_3303.JPGMy first reaction to this picture of #sirellisroy and our neighbor, Calaan was, “Wow! He looks like they have just been friends forever!” And, then I laughed because Ellis HAS been friends with her forever.  Literally. For his whole life.

You gotta wonder what their little minds are thinking and what their little hearts are feeling when he recognizes faces and voices (other than ours). It just makes my heart sing to see him spreading his cheerful spirit with those around him (and the two teeth he got last week DEFINITELY helped A LOT with the cheerful spirit part!).

I am in countdown mode now for his first birthday, which is this Saturday the 11th. Is it possible? Can’t he just stay this small and sweet forever? Nah, I don’t really want him too – but it’s nice to jump on the bandwagon and romance the idea every once in a while.

#365things #bff

 

Day 276: Me – Sort of (Finally Wrote a Bio For This Blog – YAY!)

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I have put off writing my bio on here for the last five months. Every time I think about it I get overwhelmed, anxious, my palms get all sweaty, and I just do something else like go and bake chocolate chip cookies. It’s hard for me to think about writing who I am in three paragraphs or less. I don’t ever want to define myself on paper nor do I want anyone reading this to hold me to anything because I wrote down 50 things that you might not know about me.

The thing is, I’ve had to write a lot of bios. I have a folder on my desktop called bios. I have really long bios, medium size bios, short bios, bite-size bios, I have bios for my employers, I have bios for the websites that I write for. I have bios with emojis in them. I have bios about my bios. One day, I’ll have to write a bio for my book. And even though that is definitely one of my dreams and I will consider my dream really manifesting if in fact I do need to write a bio for the book I write, I will still probably get sweaty palms and crave processed sugar.

You know, what can I say? I’m in it. I’m raising a child. I’m voice texting this bio to myself right now because I need both hands at the moment. My son is pushing his little rocking chair in the living room and trying to drive it straight into the dogs ribs.

If I had to sum up my bio for this blog, for the #365things project it would be that THIS is my life. This is me trying to articulate my day to day story in 250 words or less everyday. I try to keep it as unscripted and as raw and as authentic and as real as possible. I don’t want to sugarcoat motherhood. Yes it’s amazing, and yes it’s very hard. As I hope to invite mindfulness, presence and peace into my own life – this blog is also witness how they are integrating into my life as a mom/parent/wife.

I hope that if you get anything out of reading this blog, you get that this is not just my life it’sour life. I’m writing about my life, and your life, and your mother’s life, and every other mother’s life. I write these words so that we feel connected, and so that we don’t feel so alone. I write every day because I need to feel that connection. When I feel lost, isolated, or alone, and I share something and one of you let me know that you feel the same way then I feel a connection. And sometimes, at the end of the day, wait, let me rephrase that, at the end of a very long day, feeling connected to all mothers everywhere and every mother who came before me is a reminder to keep on keeping on.

Ramble much? Now you know what the tape is for.  Enjoy. Glad you are here. #365things

Day 275: That’s a Wrap

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Lights, camera, action! Wrapping up filming three yoga videos this afternoon. An 18 month project and collaboration with Rebelle Wellness finally coming to fruition. The videos are in collaboration with their 30 day Wellness Alchemy Detox Guidebook. We will facilitate a live, online detox experience starting November 1st.

It’s funny, the message and intention behind the videos are to nurture yourself more. As I was getting dressed to wrap up the shooting today I felt this old self-conscious story rise up in me saying that I wasn’t good enough to be filming a yoga video or I wasn’t fit or flexible enough to be filming a yoga video or I wasn’t strong enough to be filming a yoga video. The truth is, I’m happy enough to film a yoga video. I’m clear enough about what I want to share to film a yoga video and I am living what I am teaching everyday so that makes me feel inwardly confident enough to shoot a yoga video.

I am learning how to take care of myself. It is not because I pushed myself to the limits, it’s because I’m giving myself a break. It’s not because I’m acting or practicing in accordance with what someone tells me I should be doing, it’s because I’m listening to what my body needs and I am doing that.

Big thanks to my hubby for being there with me every step of the way, to Exhale Yoga Studio for opening their space and allowing us to shoot there, and to Balzotti Creative for her editing expertise.

Watch this space for more details on how to sign up for the detox coming very soon (like tomorrow or go visit http://www.rebellewellness.com for a sneak preview). That’s a wrap… for now. #365things #everydaymindfulness day 5