I get asked for parenting advice quite often. Probably for no other reason than I am constantly online like, “I AM A PARENT.” Seriously. But, as we have just passed the milestone of #SirEllisRoy’s first birthday I guess it’s appropriate to perhaps reflect on what I have learned in the last year. Well, there is not enough time to share EVERYTHING I have learned. So, I will narrow it down the the three things I would want to share with a new parent (should they ever ask my directly if I had any advice because one piece of advice I would DEFINITELY give is NEVER to give advice unless you are asked. Why? It’s annoying. I know you think you are being helpful. But, you are not. I am tired and you are annoying me when you do that. That’s pretty much it.
Ok! Here you go Dave Romanelli! (check out this dad-to-be here) Having a baby is going to ROCK YOUR WORLD BROTHER!
1. YOU ARE GOING TO BE AWESOME PARENTS! OH MY GOD! I CAN’T EVEN STAND HOW AWESOME YOU ARE GOING TO BE!! HAVE YOU LOOKED INTO THE MIRROR LATELY AND JUST STOOD IN AWE OF YOUR AWESOME PARENTS-TO-BE-NESS?!?!?!?
Encourage, empower, inspire. We have been parenting children for a lot (I mean A LOT) of years. Before there were blogs and books and techniques and experts. If you can support a new parent into tapping into their own innate wisdom – then you really don’t have to read the rest of the advice on this post.
2. DON’T PLAN ANYTHING FOR AT LEAST THREE MONTHS. IN FACT, TRY NOT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AT ALL.
Don’t plan anything for three months. Clear your calendar as much as humanly possible. This is for two reasons. The first is that if you don’t, inevitably, you will internally struggle with wanting to be at home with your babe and having these external commitments. Some commitments are unavoidable. But if there are things that can wait three months, three short months, then arrange for your life to be as open as possible for this new being to arrive and settle into their new world with you. The second reason is is that you’re going to be too freaking tired to do anything anyways. And that’s just a fact of life. I’m not going to tell you to sleep when the baby does or to rest when the baby does or anything like that. You need to find your own flow and your own rhythm of what works for you with your waking and sleeping habits. But, if you can help making the mistake of overcommitting, then help it. You will never regret it.
3. GO WITH THE FLOW. AND WHEN YOU DON’T, IT’S OK. JUST TRY AGAIN.
Get into the habit of letting life unfold naturally and organically in front of you. Every day is a journey. Every day is something new, a new obstacle to overcome, a new milestone to celebrate. There will be times when you feel challenged, overwhelmed, frustrated, joyful, amazing, so full of love that you think you’ll explode and others, so freaking confused you think you will burst into tears. You probably will burst into tears a few times. That’s ok. If you have set a course in your life to be mindful and more aware, all of that training will be tested. What your child needs from you is a constant, loving, steady space. And that can only happen when you accept each moment as it comes. And when you don’t, don’t worry. Don’t sweat it. The cool thing about moments is that there is always another one and another chance to try.