If #sirellisroy could talk that is exactly what he would have said today as I dropped him off at his first day of the “moms morning out” program he will be attending at United Methodist Church. Yep, he kind of sorta acted like he didn’t even really know me as I made exaggerated gestures of goodbye while backing slowly out of the class room. He pretty much ignored me while he beelined it for the tonka trucks. There were no tears flowing but a sort of a dull ache in the pit of my stomach mixed with enormous heart exploding pride at seeing how happy he was to be there.
There was so much about this very moment that is true for all of life. How we can at once know the pain and the joy of what it means to love so fully and so deeply that it must be in constant evolution of letting go and holding on.
When I came to pick him up – he sort of nonchalantly recognized me and only after the woman playing the guitar and singing stopped did he crawl over into my lap and give me a hug. But I swear his little arms wrapped around my neck somehow said, “Thanks, Mom. Thanks for letting me grow into the person I am going to be.” And, I might be new at this parenting thing, but I think that is sort of what its all about.