Many of you know my story. I had a child when I was 19 and placed her for adoption with a wonderful family. 15 years later we were reunited and we are now going on two and a half years of growing and deepening our incredible relationship.
If you asked me two years ago, “do you ever think one day you will be traveling with your daughter (and son)?” I probably would have said, “I hope so, one day!” but you can only take things one day at a time and we were all just taking our first steps together as family.
To think that LeeAnn just got on a plane for the first time, by herself, and flew to NY to meet Ellis and I to spend a long weekend together completely blows my mind as to what is truly possible if we just keep opening up to the life all around us. It blows my mind.
We took a train to NYC, we went shopping, we bet on the horses at Saratoga Race Track, we visited with LeeAnn and Ellis’ great-great Aunt Louise (pictured above) and brought her munchkins from Dunkin Doughnuts, we surprised their great grandparents with a visit, we helped to host a fundraiser thrown by my brother in my hometown where “my kids” got to meet everyone I grew up with, we played in the grass, LeeAnn found out she was chosen as captain of her high school swim team, we got to spend lots of time with my mom (who I know treasured this visit) and who LeeAnn is actually a lot like! We laughed hysterically at #sirellisroy and all his antics and then we woke up at 3:30am this morning to go to the airport and I said goodbye and watched her board her plane. It was a whirlwind of family and activities and we did it together as if we had always been doing it, and that felt so cool.
The journey just keeps on going. There is no stopping. There is no “getting off” and taking a break from it. Every moment, every experience we have, every plan we make is all a part of our path. We don’t “fall off our path”. Even in the hardest of times, that is our hard time to have. Of course hindsight is always 20/20. Leaving the hospital 16 years ago without a baby in my arms, even though it was my choice, still felt like I was somehow not following this grand plan that I thought God had laid out for me and I needed to go find it or something. But, now I see all of it. It’s still waaaaaaay bigger than me, but that’s the way I think God wants it. He wants there to be a little mystery in all of it. A little like “Oh, wow! Look at how it’s all coming together!” And just when you think you have it figured out, “click”, another piece of the puzzle fits in and blows you away again.
When I placed LeeAnn for adoption I made a promise to her and myself. It was that when and if we were to meet one day, I hoped that I would be a person she could be proud of. Of course, God is winking at me again because it is LeeAnn who I am so proud of. It’s me who is so honored to be able to watch her unwrap and use all of the precious and unique gifts that God has given her. That it is me who is beaming at her when I see her meeting all of her family. It is me who is standing back in awe as she just fits right in with everyone, like she has always been here. But then again, she always has. #365things